1) Save a fortune on laundry bills by giving your dirty shirts to a charity shop. They will wash and iron them, and then you can buy them back for only fifty pence each.
2) Always say yes when you want to say no, and no when you want to say yes, and you will turn your life around. For those of you who've been saying yes to drugs, this will improve your life immensely; as for the others, at least it will be a change.
3) If you take off the back of your television set and remove everything inside it, which, if you have a good set of screwdrivers, should only take one or two hours, you can get your husband or wife to kneel down behind it and look out at you through the screen, and pretend that you are married to a movie star.
4) Frustrate car thieves by siphoning off all your petrol whenever you park your car, and carrying it round with you in a big plastic bucket. If you drive a 4WD, a truck or a bus, use two buckets and a shoulder harness.
5) Catch your neighbours’ cat or dog, tie a rope around it, then climb up onto the roof of their house and lower the pet so that it dangles in front of their bedroom window first thing in the morning: they will think their cat or dog is flying and it will be one of the most exciting moments of their life.
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